Alright….the dreaded evening has arrived and I went to my first WW meeting since starting on this journey to a healthy lifestyle.
It’s the first of the year and every woman over the age of 6 is there to join. I live in a small rural community where the post office closes for an hour and a half every afternoon for lunch. There is no movie theater and only one grocery store. So I’m beginning to think that maybe this is the towns only source of entertainment.
I quickly scan the room feeling sure that I’m the fattest person there. I win! I was! The meeting begins with horn honking, and atta boys.
Miss Chirpy (names have been changed to protect the innocent) begin the celebration by asking who has some thing to brag about this week? (The room goes strangely silent and the entire front row starts looking at their shoes.) Miss Chirpy, persists…..how bout you Miss Pencil Thin, any closer to zipping up those size O designer jeans?
Well, she says shyly, “I did lose a quarter pound!” ” Whoopeee, ” Miss Chirpy shouts……that’s a whole stick of butter! (every one begins to clap enthusiastically). I look at my backside and see a whole side of beef hiding back there while she’s gloating over a stick of butter! I’m beginning to feel ill as Miss Chirpy continues to bounce over the room sprinkling endless enthusiasm and cliches.
Next the lecture begins in earnest. There are 4 questions.
Miss Chirpy: Is there any area of your life that you would like to see improvement?
Me:(hmm….let me think, I’m at a WW meetings, what could I possibly need to improve my life…..I hope all these questions aren’t going to be this hard.)
Miss Chirpy: What do you need to do to make these improvements?
Me: (….again, I’m at WW meetings what COULD I do to make these improvements? I need to write these questions down. I know I’ll write them on this little book they gave me……hey, would you look….this may be the answer to my prayers!)
Miss Chirpy: CAN you make those changes and improvements?
Me: (thinking again, I’m not over weight, I’m just under tall….taking out slide rule thingy in book….by my calculations I should be 7 feet 2 inches tall!)
Miss Chirpy: (leaping right in front of me pointing her finger accusingly) “Will YOU make those changes!” she screams!
Me: “Lord Jesus YES, ( anything just get me out of here!”)
Wild enthusiastic cheers and applause break out spontaneously as the town’s fat person has been dramatically converted to the right way, the weight watcher way! Now the towns folk can sleep in their beds tonight without fear of being eaten.
Well…..maybe it didn’t exactly happen that way….but it did to my way of thinking!
8:36 pm
Somehow, I think your answers are a little sarcastic…no.
Congratulations on your first step to a healthy lifestyle (or is that Jenny Craig) anyway, you went, you didn’t kill Miss Chirpy and that’s really the most important thing
8:37 pm
Never been to a meeting myself, I just do the online thing. Hope that it goes well in the future!
8:44 pm
Gosh Miss Chirpy doesn’t exactly sound like the best motivational coach. I think you can get all the encouragement you need from this blog and none of the humiliation. And hey, a quarter pound is gone! :yahoo: Every bit helps so this is something! Hang in there.
9:11 pm
I think I might’ve punched Miss Chirpy in the boobies
9:55 pm
OMG that was by far the funniest description of a WW meeting I have read yet. Good thing you did not punch Miss Chirpy!
10:35 pm
At what point did you raise your hand and admit to being a foodaholic? Just curious. That was hilarious!
Personally, I would probably hide from that kind of person. Thankfully you have us. Miss Chirpy can kiss my jellyroll of a patootie!
:rofl:
4:12 am
I’ve never done a meeting before, but that sounds awful. I’d have sat on Chirpy. Hugs to you!
4:48 am
LOL, that is so funny! I am going to a meeting next Tuesday morning but I don’t think it will be quite like that….if its the same bunch that were there last time (and it probably will be it the same meeting) I will be the youngest there by…lets see probably about 30-40 years. Not that I mind…but it would be nice to have 1 person my own kind of age to relate to and who will talk to me at the meeting!
8:08 am
I went to a meeting last year and your description is PERFECT! Do they clone Ms. Chirpy?
11:10 am
Dear Lazy Daisy,
What a joy you are! Thanks–I must have lost some weight just from laughing uproariously at your article. TERRIFIC ARTICLE–FANTASTIC SENSE OF HUMOR!
11:20 am
Your post made my morning! Hysterical and yes, I agree, those meetings can be a little sappy like that, almost exactly like that, but, I usually get something out of them when I go. Sometimes I am just not in the mood for all that Mrs. Chirpy stuff and just weigh in and leave. They do have some good recipes and a lot of the people are really nice. It does crack me up when someone is there that they applaud for reaching goal and someone always asks, how much did you lose? 12 lbs. LOL LOL … Well, figure it sounds silly to me, but it was important to them so I guess we should be happy….I am one of those ones that has 100 lbs. to lose so I can’t really relate to 12 lbs.