We can thank Uncle Sam for my questionable mood, so it’s his fault that I sat down today and made a list of everything that’s wrong with me. Yes, I can be morose sometimes. But it helps.

10 Things I Hate About Me

1. Chronic pain due to Fibromyalgia, Myofascial Pain Syndrome, and spinal/hip arthritis. I’ve spent the last 9 years in some degree of pain for one reason or another. But that’s not as bad as some people with FMS and the like (I know there’s at least one other FMSer here!), so I can’t complain tooooo much.

2. Had a pituitary tumor, which is technically a brain tumor, and thusly proof that I have a brain. But it really screwed up my hormones.

3. Thanks to said tumor, I have diabetes insipidus, not to be confused with diabetes mellitus. What I have would be better described as “water diabetes.” Because of this, I have to weigh everyday to make sure I’m not retaining more than 3 pounds of water. When my meds wear off, I can drink 3 liters in 2-3 hours and then I pee off 5-6 pounds of fluid in a night. It’s a talent.

4. Hypothyroidism. Eh, not so bad.

5. The gall bladder from hell. It hates me almost as much as the military medical system seems to; I was in the ER from it on Dec 20th, was told to see my regular doc within 72 hours…yeah, my appointment isn’t until the 17th of January. If it turns gangrenous by then…oh well.

6. Dandruff. Seriously. If I bend over and pat my head, it looks like it’s snowing.

7. I can grow a goatee. I’m not bragging about that one.

8. I have been called “sir” more times that I care to admit. I’d be really insulted, but the look on peoples’ faces when they realize the mistake is priceless.

9. Shyness. I am horribly shy, which a lot of people mistake as being stuck up.

10. If I could, I would eat out every single lunch and dinner. I hate cooking, I hate cleaning, I hate domesticity. I like being served. Yeah, I’m real mature.

Ok, looking at that, it’s not so bad! Other people have it a lot worse. But those are the things I chew on when I feel pissed off, upset, angry, and when I’m pissed off, upset, angry, I feel really fat…and if I’m thinking of chowing down on stuff I shouldn’t, it’s probably because I feel gigantic.

None of those things have anything to do with food, yet… writing this stuff down help put things into focus. And instead of reaching for the chocolate stash I know is somewhere in this house, I’ll be content with an apple later.

I never said my brain worked like normal peoples’….

I didn’t have trouble with my weight loss efforts today.  I did fine other than not having enough water and probably not eating as much as I should have.  I know, weird–not eating!?

The day sucked because I had the worst blow out with a couple of my family members (extended family members) and I spent most of the morning and part of the afternoon crying.  Why is it that the people we love the most always hurt us the most?  I now have a terrible crying headache and I have done damage to my eyes in that they seem to be permanently swollen and bloodshot.   The worst part is that I have given up part of my life and my sanity for this person and have gotten nothing but pooped on for it now.  I think that I am a reasonably good person, who tries to help people out when I can, but apparently to these two people I am a self-serving bi%$#.  Who knew?

Thank God for you guys and ultimately for Leanne, because otherwise I would have no avenue for venting.  I can’t on my blog because they both read it.  I know, dumb me!  A mistake that I will never make again!    I assure you.

Thanks for letting me vent.  You all have a great week!

I feel good about the day we’ve had again, despite the fact that my in-laws took us out for Chinese buffet for supper, as a belated birthday dinner for my hubby.  One can hardly say no to that!   We planned for it, however, and had a late morning breakfast of 1-egg omelets with one slice of WW toast, and didn’t eat again until about 6:30.  I filled my plate at the buffet and didn’t return for seconds, despite the fact that it was all-you-can-eat.  I had bits of everything and didn’t feel “cheated” at all.  Hubby did have seconds, but hey, it was for *his* birthday, after all.   And we both passed on dessert.  I still haven’t got my water intake up to what it should be, but I’m working on it!

I also drank tea today, rather than coffee.  I’m a coffee junkie ::hanging head:: and while I don’t take sugar, I do have to have coffee cream in my java.  However, I can drink tea with 1% milk just fine, so I’ve been sipping on tea throughout the day, allowing myself one jolt of coffee first thing in the morning.  I’ll probably sleep better for it, too.

I hope you’ve all had good days too.  Oh, I weighed myself this morning, and I was down 3 lbs from yesterday morning.   Most of that is fluid, of course, but it’s still nice to see the scales move.

Lazy Daisy is back in the building and has finally had a break through. Yes, I said a “break through” not a “break down”!

My last post was after attending a weight watchers meeting in my small rural community and meeting “Miss Chirpy” the life coach, cheerleader and all-round perky-person lecturer.

My attempt at humor was to mask how bad I felt at being so far out of control in my eating habits and having allowed myself to become the resident fat person of the community.

Friday was horrible in that I didn’t know what to eat and was almost afraid to eat at all.

Saturday and Sunday we had planned to go home to Virginia Beach to see my mom for her birthday . Going home is always an eating extravaganza...My wonderful mom believes in the Dough Boy philosophy of “Nothing says lovin like something from the oven. ”

She believes in “Killing the fatted calf” and preparing all my favorite foods. In the past, I have eaten everything she puts in front of me so she will know that I appreciate all her efforts to please me and show me how much she loves me.
This weekend I told her that “I was the fatted calf and she was killing me” by insisting I eat things that were not on my eating plan. She listened! She had simple meals with numerous vegetables and salads. I left tonight with a sense of empowerment.

My biggest “Ah Ha Moment” came when I finally realized that as much as I love food, I love me more. I am learning to approach food (not with fear and trembling) but with reverence and celebration. Anything approached with reverence is less likely to be abused. So I am developing a more intentional relationship with food….loving it, savoring it,and not taking it for granted.

Thanks in advance for your support!

Those of you who just signed up this weekend, please be patient – I will get you set up and send you your info some time Monday morning.

If no one sees a use for the member pages, I’ll go ahead and remove them. There are only a couple of people using that space, your logs are all linked individually on the sidebar, so right now it just links to .. nothin’. Let me know your thoughts on those. Note: You need to use the contact form to submit your info for your member page. It’s the only way that can be done at the moment.

**UPDATE** Please check the RECIPE section, we have a contributor who is filling up the space with some really delish and good-for-you foods!

**MEMBERS** Please be sure that you select your log under “Categories” when posting, it’s in the right column on your posting page. Thank you!

Back to your regularly scheduled weight loss programs!

and so far……(fingers, toes, legs, eyes, hair & quite possibly spine!:winking: all crossed) i’ve stuck with it.  i’ve walked 3 laps around my whole complex every night & am trying to keep well below my 1500 calorie program.  i have, however, not done any yoga…..as i am in the process of de-throning christmas decorations….and the house looks like a bomb went off.  lol!!

i went to tar-jay & bought myself 2 boxes of “Special K” and 3 boxes of their bars too.  i also (GOD FORBID!) bought skim milk.  and surprisingly……coca cola zero doesn’t taste bad! :good:  so, my kitchen is now stocked with tons of low carb stuff.  i’m going to try that special k challenge…..2 bowls a day + one meal + 2 weeks = -6 lbs.  so we’ll see.  lol!!

i’ll see how long that lasts.  its ok to do when the kids are at their dad’s house, but once they come home, its too easy for me to snack & eat what i make them.  lol! 

so, how is everyone else doing this weekend??

and more – the exact figure right now is 11,495 and its all because we went for a walk around that park that I mentioned we were supposed to go to the other day! We didn’t even get half way around because we got there at 3pm and the gates close at 4pm, and according to my dad it takes a lot longer than that to go around the whole thing. Teagan was walking and being that she is only 2 and a bit the pace wasn’t all that but who cares – I wasn’t sitting on my butt at my parents house stuffing biscuits and drinking tea – I was out getting exercise! Wait think I have a pic of Teagan someplace on here….lets see…. 

Yup, there she is my little cutie pie! Sitting on a log. She really enjoyed herself too….this is more of the type of thing I want to be able to do with my kids, this is the reason I want to be slimmer, healthier and fitter!

The other one, Savannah, slept pretty much the whole way around the park….only waking up when we got back to the car to go home.

Then when we did get home, look what happened…..

Yup, she fell asleep on our living room floor before we even had a chance to take her coat off…poor wee sweetheart!

So, exercise was good today….food – did ok, had roast pork and veg, it was very lean. Didn’t do well with the water intake though.  Drank some, but should have had way more especially since we were out walking but never mind! I did exercise people!!!

Off to read some of the trillions of posts you busy ladies have been posting now. :wave: