We can thank Uncle Sam for my questionable mood, so it’s his fault that I sat down today and made a list of everything that’s wrong with me. Yes, I can be morose sometimes. But it helps.

10 Things I Hate About Me

1. Chronic pain due to Fibromyalgia, Myofascial Pain Syndrome, and spinal/hip arthritis. I’ve spent the last 9 years in some degree of pain for one reason or another. But that’s not as bad as some people with FMS and the like (I know there’s at least one other FMSer here!), so I can’t complain tooooo much.

2. Had a pituitary tumor, which is technically a brain tumor, and thusly proof that I have a brain. But it really screwed up my hormones.

3. Thanks to said tumor, I have diabetes insipidus, not to be confused with diabetes mellitus. What I have would be better described as “water diabetes.” Because of this, I have to weigh everyday to make sure I’m not retaining more than 3 pounds of water. When my meds wear off, I can drink 3 liters in 2-3 hours and then I pee off 5-6 pounds of fluid in a night. It’s a talent.

4. Hypothyroidism. Eh, not so bad.

5. The gall bladder from hell. It hates me almost as much as the military medical system seems to; I was in the ER from it on Dec 20th, was told to see my regular doc within 72 hours…yeah, my appointment isn’t until the 17th of January. If it turns gangrenous by then…oh well.

6. Dandruff. Seriously. If I bend over and pat my head, it looks like it’s snowing.

7. I can grow a goatee. I’m not bragging about that one.

8. I have been called “sir” more times that I care to admit. I’d be really insulted, but the look on peoples’ faces when they realize the mistake is priceless.

9. Shyness. I am horribly shy, which a lot of people mistake as being stuck up.

10. If I could, I would eat out every single lunch and dinner. I hate cooking, I hate cleaning, I hate domesticity. I like being served. Yeah, I’m real mature.

Ok, looking at that, it’s not so bad! Other people have it a lot worse. But those are the things I chew on when I feel pissed off, upset, angry, and when I’m pissed off, upset, angry, I feel really fat…and if I’m thinking of chowing down on stuff I shouldn’t, it’s probably because I feel gigantic.

None of those things have anything to do with food, yet… writing this stuff down help put things into focus. And instead of reaching for the chocolate stash I know is somewhere in this house, I’ll be content with an apple later.

I never said my brain worked like normal peoples’….