Some days I’m good, some days the whole day goes by and I realize I haven’t been drinking nearly as much as I should.

 Do you have a secret trick or something that works for you?

Hi :wave: My name is Nicole, I’m 21, and I have 47.5 pounds to go. LOL

That’s the truth, even though I’m joking around a little bit. I’ve struggled with my weight almost as long as I can remember. It has been the cause of a lot of low self-esteem, depression, and plain ole heartache over the years. I have pants in my closet ranging from four different sizes. I managed to lose 60lbs my 10th grade year in high school by taking herbs before they discovered one of the ingredients was really dangerous. I gradually put it all back on after about a year or so. I get easily frustrated and discouraged since then because it doesn’t just fall off like before. However, I have gotten to the point now that I am ready to make life style changes to accomplish my goals. I want to do it not only for my appearance and self-esteem but for my health and well being as well. Diabetes, high cholesterol, high blood pressure, etc all run in my family. So here I am. (Btw… am I the only one who is deeply touched by the Jenny Craig commercial? You know the one that has the music in the background and the words flashing up?) So anyways..

After another trip to the ER on Friday night/Saturday morning (morphine!), a visit to my “regular” doc (first time I’d ever seen her) I had a HIDA scan today to see if my pain is caused by my gall bladder. They said it would take 5 days to get the results, but she had them by 4:30 this afternoon.

My gall bladder is perfectly normal.

I’ve spent the last month+ avoiding anything remotely greasy or fried, and I really missed french fries. They’re not even a weekly thing for me, but the idea that I couldn’t have them meant I realllllly wanted them. So when she said it wasn’t my gall bladder, we headed for McDonald’s. Big Mac and fries.

Totally not diet worthy, but totally worth it . I’ll go back to better eating tomorrow, but for tonight, that was so good.

p2g still 50

This week is a difficult one for some reason. I am working out again after taking most of last week off due to painters being at my house. But, I’m coming in at the top or just above my set WW points for the week. And, today, I sit here with just 6 points left for dinner. That might not sound like much to some, but I am used to having about 10 points to play with for dinner and a snack after. So, it will be a long night, I suspect!

I weigh in on Thursday at my new meeting place just after I work out…but it is midday. That makes me nervous because I always weigh less early in the morning. So, today I have been drinking water like a mad woman. I have these jugs that I got at Walgreens awhile back that hold exactly 8 glasses of water’s worth, so that makes it easy to make sure I have drank enough.

My first post here. But it seems like I’ve been trying to lose weight my whole life. Always dreaming of the day I’ll reach my goal weight and then “Won’t things be great?”

I’m finally truly absorbing the fact that I’ve got to live my life now. Everyday that I waste on meeting that instant gratification is a day lost in the battle. So no more giving up because I made a bad choice. Instead I’m picking up where I left off and facing each choice with focus and determination.

Some of you here know me and I’m so pleased to have a place to meet with like-minded people on the same journey. People I already “know” and feel comfortable and a chance to meet some new ones too. I joined Weight Watchers for the first time last Thursday and will be going to meetings for similar support and accountability that I hope to find here on a daily basis. I tried the message boards at their site. It was like I was a tiny little tadpole in a big fast-moving ocean. I couldn’t connect there.

“I’m walking down the line
That divides me somewhere in my mind
On the border line of the edge
And where I walk alone” ~~ Green Day

This past week hasn’t been as easy as the week before.  I’m worn out.  I hurt, literally head to toe.  I go to the gym, smelling of one of a variety of muscle rubs so that aching will subside to a dull throb. 

It’s tough keeping my head in the right place too.  Now that I’m up to 2 1/4 miles, at my slow pace, it takes me about 80 minutes.  I focus on the music in my headphones, on the TVs on the wall, and try to keep from focusing on my pain and doubts.  I get frustrated when a busy schedule keeps me from the gym.  I get angry when my body rebells, against my will.  But I still go, force myself to do it anyway.

Well I weighed myself when I got to work today and I am down 10 lbs. now.  Last night I had a hard time.  I was in an anxious mood (bad for me) and thinking about things I didn not want to think about and so I just went to bed cuz I knew I would start to nibble.  Well, that didn’t work and I got up and polished off some graham crackers and a glass of milk.  Man they tasted so good.  I guess there are worse things I could have eaten but still, it was just one of those things.  I’m okay with it, but it just irritates me.  I still lost another pound but still… late night eating is not good.  Anyone have any ideas on something satisfying to keep on hand for those situations so you don’t eat a bunch of something?